Friday, June 25, 2010

Travel Guide for a Westerner

The following is a little letter floating through German Blogs and snatched from Gates of Vienna:

Want to really experience something? Have a real adventure? Then get ready for a journey you couldn’t imagine in your wildest dreams.

So: Travel illegally to Pakistan, Iran, Turkey, or Syria. Don’t worry about visas, international laws, immigration regulations or other silly rules.

As soon as you have arrived, demand that the local authorities provide you and your family with free medical care.

Insist that all employees of the health agencies speak your language of choice -- German, Greek, Spanish, Hungarian, English, Polish -- and that the clinics where you may be admitted prepare food for you just as you have it at home, in Germany, Greece, Spain, Hungary, USA, Poland.

Insist that all forms, questionnaires, and documents be translated into your language.

Reject any criticism of your attitude by stating emphatically: “That has to do with my culture and religion. You understand nothing about it.”

Categorically maintain your original identity. Hang the flag of your Western country in your window. (And don’t forget a bumper sticker for your car.)

Make sure that you speak only your own language at home and that your children do the same.

Demand uncompromisingly that Western culture be taught at music schools.

Make an immediate and unconditional demand for a driver’s license, a residence permit and whatever other paperwork may occur to you.

Regard the possession of these documents as justification of your illegal presence in Pakistan, Iran, Turkey or Syria.

Let no one discriminate against you. Stand on your legal rights. Demand a child-care allowance.

Drive without insurance. Only the natives need that.

Organize protest marches against your host country and its residents. Support violence without exception against non-whites, non-Christians, and the government that allowed you to enter the country.

Insist that your wife (or wives, even if you have meanwhile acquired four of them) wear neither a veil nor a burka.


All this is possible in the West, because we are governed by different people… I almost said, politically correct idiots.

If you agree with all this, pass this text on.

If not, pack your bags, leave your homeland and find out whether you are welcome under the above-described conditions in Pakistan, Iran, Turkey, Syria, Afghanistan, Saudi-Arabia, Kuwait, Egypt…

And please, tell me about your impressions.

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